Retrosnark

Shopping for a Kindle?

And by "Kindle," I mean Amazon's new spiffalicious wireless reading device, not one of these homonyms. If you are thinking about buying one of the former, please do so via this link. It won't change your purchase price one bit, but it will earn me a little extra change. (In other words, Amazon's kicking back a magnanimous 10% on these puppies, and I've got a baby on the way.)
 

Once again, that link you want to click is this one. Thanks from me and my offspring-to-be!

Deck the halls with balls of awful

Continuing with selections from the 1958 Better Homes & Gardens Christmas magazine, here's some Friday night retro goodness.

And here's some more good news: In addition to previously announced gifts in the first annual Do What Now? Christmas Retrofest Giveaway, I'm kicking in an autographed copy of James Lileks' Gastroanomalies. Don't get too excited, because the signature is mine, not his, but that should count for something. Right?

Seriously, I really am giving away a copy. So email me your retro Christmas memories, or just email me, and I'll enter all the names in a hat and pick out the lucky winners. Good luck!

The Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day

Oh, come on. There's no way to snark on this. There's just too much All-American retro goodness here. Makes me wish there were some kind of virtual reality option to Typepad that made it possible to really immerse yourself in this scene.

The smile on that little girl is enough to warm up a Siberian outhouse.

Oh, you shouldn't have

And I've never meant anything more literally. You really shouldn't grab a few hangers, bend them up a little, and call it decorating. Alexander Calder got away with it, but he benefited from the "I'm doing it first" aura.

Not all that Christmas-y, but still pretty nice

Except for the pine bough and Christmas Tree plate, I think you could just as easily have shot this picture for Arbor Day as for Christmas. That doesn't mean I wouldn't like to have everything in the picture, though.

To ensure adequate childhood trauma

Just in case your young'uns weren't sent screaming into the street by the sight of these L'il Demons, you can always whomp up some of these soul-sucking succubi. Extra evil points for that stark photography.

Paper aortas and birdcages

Man, doesn't this just scream "Christmas"? No, wait, I had that wrong. It just makes you scream. Honestly, isn't this as reminiscent of holidays as a root canal X-ray?

More Christmas goodness

Continuing in the holiday vein, here's some more selections from that 1958 Better Homes & Gardens Christmas magazine that comes to you courtesy of Charlie and Simone, over to the Modern Mechanix homestead.

Also, don't forget the first annual Do What Now? Christmas Retrofest Giveaway. Send me your retro Christmas memories (or just drop me an email), and you could win some really worthless stuff. I mean, some truly unique retro selections. I'm still collecting for Hand in Paw, if you want to hit the Tip Jar. I'll collect all the donations and submit them in my readers' name before Christmas.

You can buy the new Lileks book here. I got mine yesterday, and it looks pretty spiffy. (Of course.)

Finally (begin Navin Johnson voice), the new scanner is here! The new scanner is here! The new, bionic scanner generously purchased by reader Daniel was delivered today. I haven't gotten it up and running yet, but I will soon. Thanks again, Daniel!

Stark and soulless is all the rage

This is a perfect setting. Perfect if you hate Christmas and want to bum everybody else out. The warmth of the fireplace is offset by the lack of a mantel, and the stupidly grinning angel looks like it was ripped from a hospital in 1950. You can smell the rubbing alcohol and hear the footsteps of the white-stockinged nurse. You cannot hear the clip-clop of reindeer up on the housetop.

You remember the Island of Misfit Toys?

You know, the one in the Rudolph Christmas special, where the Charlie-in-the-Box and the ostrich-riding cowboy lived? Well, not too far from there was located the Island of Evil Decorations, which regularly launched raids on the Island of Misfit Toys. These two grim characters were particularly heartless. They were eventually tried and convicted of war crimes by Judge Yukon Cornelius, once he returned to the bench from his prospecting sabbatical.